“We achieve inner health only through forgiveness - the forgiveness not only of others but also of ourselves”
This year I decided to face the anger and pain in my heart. Unfortunately, like a boil, you first have to pierce it and let the puss out before you can treat it. This I did and was heartened by the many friends on FB who commented on this angry outburst.
My inspiration for this Xmas period and beyond is:
"Forgiveness is not always easy. At times, it feels more painful than the wound we suffered, to forgive the one that inflicted it. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness."
Friday, 5 February 2010
On being a father
My daughter, Ziana, just passed her Grade 10 with flying colours.
Being a divorced father, I realise "..fatherhood isn't easy like motherhood". So pasted below a few quotes for us fathers out there:
* The father who would taste the essence of his fatherhood must turn back from the plane of his experience, take with him the fruits of his journey and begin again beside his child, marching step by step over the same old road. ~Angelo Patri
* There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself. ~John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994
* Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
Being a divorced father, I realise "..fatherhood isn't easy like motherhood". So pasted below a few quotes for us fathers out there:
* The father who would taste the essence of his fatherhood must turn back from the plane of his experience, take with him the fruits of his journey and begin again beside his child, marching step by step over the same old road. ~Angelo Patri
* There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself. ~John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994
* Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
Celebrating four decades
“There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth...not going all the way, and not starting.”
I stand today at a crossroads in my life. In this past year I have spent considerable time in looking at my past, and specifically my motivations for the actions that I have undertaken. Now as I stand on the brink of turning 40, it is time to build on the foundations I have laid.
The one thing that I can say is, I have fought the temptation to take the easy way. My choice has more often than not been the "road less travelled".
This coming year will be rather a harsh one. If I have done what was required, and my planning was right, all will be well.
I stand today at a crossroads in my life. In this past year I have spent considerable time in looking at my past, and specifically my motivations for the actions that I have undertaken. Now as I stand on the brink of turning 40, it is time to build on the foundations I have laid.
The one thing that I can say is, I have fought the temptation to take the easy way. My choice has more often than not been the "road less travelled".
This coming year will be rather a harsh one. If I have done what was required, and my planning was right, all will be well.
The lady on the farm
I cannot believe you have left,
On the way to the airport,
Not knowing what you have done,
Or understanding what I caught.
We both were stuck with heartache,
Shared it with each other for while,
Feeling much better now knowing,
Others need not understand our style.
Most of the other family and guests around us,
Probably thought it was only a holiday fling,
But we both know better about our hearts,
And the joy to our insides it did bring.
I am sorry that I had to act nonchalant,
And pretend there was nothing between us,
Because your family need only have looked at me,
And in my eyes have seen the lust.
Now you left back for your home,
Thank god that we have facebook,
Now every day we can chat and laugh,
And get ready for the next holiday u book.
On the way to the airport,
Not knowing what you have done,
Or understanding what I caught.
We both were stuck with heartache,
Shared it with each other for while,
Feeling much better now knowing,
Others need not understand our style.
Most of the other family and guests around us,
Probably thought it was only a holiday fling,
But we both know better about our hearts,
And the joy to our insides it did bring.
I am sorry that I had to act nonchalant,
And pretend there was nothing between us,
Because your family need only have looked at me,
And in my eyes have seen the lust.
Now you left back for your home,
Thank god that we have facebook,
Now every day we can chat and laugh,
And get ready for the next holiday u book.
I am a Success!
I am successful! By definition, success is about attaining an objective. Thus to be successful means you meet your objectives.
The catch is what are your objectives? How do you go about setting these aims? Is it a haphazard guess - oooh I want to be rich? Or do you seriously sit down and take time to plan and concretise your objectives?
I was fortunate to have many wonderful teachers and mentors who, from an early age, encouraged me to achieve my objectives because they believed in me. One of the most important lessons I learnt was how to set an objective.
In school we are taught an objective should be SMART - that is:
S - Specific
M - Measurable
A - Achievable
R - Realistic
T- Time-bound
This is easier said than done!!!!!! Nevertheless, once an objective is SMART, success is bound to happen.
One thing that has helped me over the years is the visualisation of my success. I spend time daydreaming about what it would be like to have achieved the success already. I even make a shopping list of the things I will buy with the money I plan on earning.
Another important part of achieving success is making sure I do not use the measuring stick of others. If you find money important, then use it as YOUR measure. BUT, for me acquiring knowledge and helping others is my measure.
In 1999, I was challenged to create a business plan for my business life. It took almost three years, but I completed a comprehensive plan in 2003. Of course, when I did the financials, I realised that at least N$ 10 million would be needed. Now, where was I going to get that kind of money?
Then a funny thing started happening. As the years have gone on, I evaluate the objectives set in the plan and guess what? I always meet, if not surpass, all the objectives set out in my plan. WITHOUT THE MONEY?
How do I do it you ask? The setting up of these objectives were SMART. The need for certain actions were written up. All I have to do is alighn myslef with what the universe has seen to be the end result. I got no other answer than that.
So I end this with a suggestion to you. Prepare a Business Plan for your Life!
The catch is what are your objectives? How do you go about setting these aims? Is it a haphazard guess - oooh I want to be rich? Or do you seriously sit down and take time to plan and concretise your objectives?
I was fortunate to have many wonderful teachers and mentors who, from an early age, encouraged me to achieve my objectives because they believed in me. One of the most important lessons I learnt was how to set an objective.
In school we are taught an objective should be SMART - that is:
S - Specific
M - Measurable
A - Achievable
R - Realistic
T- Time-bound
This is easier said than done!!!!!! Nevertheless, once an objective is SMART, success is bound to happen.
One thing that has helped me over the years is the visualisation of my success. I spend time daydreaming about what it would be like to have achieved the success already. I even make a shopping list of the things I will buy with the money I plan on earning.
Another important part of achieving success is making sure I do not use the measuring stick of others. If you find money important, then use it as YOUR measure. BUT, for me acquiring knowledge and helping others is my measure.
In 1999, I was challenged to create a business plan for my business life. It took almost three years, but I completed a comprehensive plan in 2003. Of course, when I did the financials, I realised that at least N$ 10 million would be needed. Now, where was I going to get that kind of money?
Then a funny thing started happening. As the years have gone on, I evaluate the objectives set in the plan and guess what? I always meet, if not surpass, all the objectives set out in my plan. WITHOUT THE MONEY?
How do I do it you ask? The setting up of these objectives were SMART. The need for certain actions were written up. All I have to do is alighn myslef with what the universe has seen to be the end result. I got no other answer than that.
So I end this with a suggestion to you. Prepare a Business Plan for your Life!
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